John, what is love?
by Chaotixs11
Summary: John wants to learn what it means to love and Dave wants to help his bro find his girl. Not to mention crazy subplots, the Mayor high-fiveing everyone, sloppy self makeouts, all the ships and all the apirings, cheesy puns, heartfelt break ups, weak willed female charecters rising up and taking a new role in society in a story that would make Meulin explode with the feels. For real.
1. A day in the life of a love sick Egbert

Dave Strider is a cool dude. John Eggbert is Dave's derpy friend. Dave is a pimp. John is a nerd. Dave has already found his dream girl and has been going steady for a while, and John is left high and dry. Dave Strider is a cool dude, John Eggbert is Dave's derpy friend and Dave refuses to let his derpy nerd friend go on being the lonely guy he is.

John is walking down the hall to his next class, he turns the corner and bumps into the last person he wants to see. Karkat Vantas, senior, captain of the field hockey and tennis teams, relation ship status = Avaliable

"Hello Eggbert"

"What do you want Karkat"

"I'm just trying to say hello to an under class men, do I have to want something?"

"Unless you intend to move out of my way in the next three secounds, yes."

"Come on do you have a problem with me or something? What have I ever done to you?"

"Nothing just get out of my way."

John pushed past the senior and kept going to his class, Karkat had never done anything bad to John, he had just been better at everything. Maybe in another universe where Karkat was an alien and had some kind of disorder that made him hide from any kind of social activity he may have been a screw up. But that was something that would obviously never happen, Karkat was human and was on even social footing with everyone else, and since this was the case Karkat had it pretty good. He was an encourageing leader and skilled athelete, while he isn't the best field hockey player or the best tennis player (He is still pleanty good) he inspires people and can lead people. Not to menton he looks good in shorts, Karkat is the only Senior who looks good in shorts. John is horrible at sports, John cannot inspire people, John does not look good in shorts, and John wanted to be able to do all those things, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't and it all came easy to Karkat and John hated him for it.

John made it too his class, at least as long as he was in a class room where social skills and athletic abilities didn't matter John was pretty well off himself. He got straight 4's with the occasional 3 because some times he just couldn't focus. Well actualy he got more 3's then 4's because John couldn't focus, alot. But he did all right, he sat at his seat in the lecture hall and waited for the teacher to begain the lesson. Looking to either side of him the closest person on his right was one of Karkat's minion's Nepeta Lejion, and on his left was probably the smartest person in school (Questionably) Mituna Captor.

Nepeta was a straight 3 student who would be a straight 1 student, if she wasn't friends with smart people like Sollux Captor and Karkat. She was nice, but vicious. She was one of the best memebers of the boxing club, archery club, and volley ball team, she could do anything she wanted it all came easier to her. While academics was a little harder she got by with help from friends. John liked Nepeta, she was cute and atheletic, but his romantic feelings for her were limited to the "Hey look a cute girl!" level.

Mituna the (questionably) smartest guy in school was a self-proclaimed psyhic who just lost his powers in an accident. He got all the best grades, in another universe he may have been mentaly challenged, here he was clever, methological and organized. He hung with a group who called them selves the "Alphas" the alphas were all seniors with exceptional skill at something, only the best got to hang with the alphas and Mituna being the (questionably) smartest guy in school he was a pretigious member. He was only rivaled by Sollux Captor, Jade Harley, and Terezi Pyrope, but he had the highest test scores on the last all school test so he was the official smartest, however he and Sollux had actualy tied with 100% but Mituna was first in alphabetical order and got put first in the list. The list had them both at number one but top of the list was the requirement for smartest in school so Sollux got the short end of the stick. But Mituna got stuck with (questionably) in his social portfolio so it kinda evened out. That aside he was on the academic team, and the soccer team.

So senior's on both side's one an Alpha and one was among Karkat's gang. A social death trap, but fortunatly Mituna was actualy listening to the lecture, wierdo, and Nepeta was texting so he was safe...

"Sup runt"

Except from behind. He regonized the voice any where,

Cronos Ampora, senior, and Alpha. Got into the alpha's with his quitar skills, basketball supermacy and social sleekness. He was the sum of everything John despised, talented, athletic, popular, a creep and a jerk. John doesn't care about Cronos much so he doesn't really know too much about him. Other than he is a pain in the ass and here he was thinking he would actualy learn something.

John tried to ignore him but the senior insisted

"Runt are you ignoreing me?"

John was really starting to hate Honors Calculus. Thinking about it he wasn't sure how Cronos got into this class.

"Listen up, you better start listeing or you won't be looking so pretty come tommorow, oh wait you never looked pretty. Oh what ever, point is start listening to me or begain wishing you were some one else."

"Shut up Cronos"

"Oooh the nerds got a tounge, I think I'll cut that out later."

Cronos looked over at Nepeta

"Hey Lejion want to help me bludgeon this runt after school, I heard you have a mean left hook."

A pencil sails through the air and hits Cronos in the head, he falls back into his seat

"AC hits the big bully with an arrow from her trusty bow and saves the poor soft more from his cruel bantering"

Cronos sneered

"I dare you to try that again Leijon!"

Cronos was lifted out of his seat, a loud voices booms through out the room

"I believe Cronos's is bleeding, allow me to take him to the nurse's office."

The frail teacher Tinna Bull wimpered into her microphone "Yes go ahead Mr. Zahhak"

Zahhak?! Oh god you had no idea HE was in this class. You feel bad for your teacher, she was a frail old lady and he had to deal with some one as intimdateing as that in her class, even though they were in the back of the auditorium, the voice of Equius could make anyone's bone's chill. Anyway less pitying you teacher more social background.

Equius Zahhak, THE school's sports authority. Captain of the boxing club, wrestling team, fencing team, cross country, archery club, swimming team, star line backer of the football team, best defesive player of the basketball team, and the top of the class in weight training, physical conditioning and Honors robotics. The guy was a hell of a guy. No one is really sure how we makes it to all of his extra curricular activites. He would definatly have been an alpha, if his closest friend Nepeta wasn't among Karkat's gang. So between him and Sollux, Karkat's group were constantly considered above the Alpha's but no one ever really said it. Anyway Equius scares John, in another universe he may have been a creep with a obsesson with hoofbeast, but in reality he was muscle bound, sweat ball with a thick german accent. It was scary, while he isn't fetishtic, he smells awful, he is intimidateing and could snap John's neck on accident. He tried to avoid him.

After Equius 'escorted' Cronos to the nurse's office for the bloody nose, that he didn't have but would have by the time he got there, the lecture resumed. Nepeta look at John

"Did the big bully bother you?"

"Thanks to you he didn't. Thanks a lot."

"You're Welcome :33"

Then Nepeta is back in Nepeta land doing who know's what with her phone.

Class continues, after a few minutes Equius is back and Cronos isn't. The lecture goes on pretty dull but informative. By the end of class, John feels he should properly thank Equius for stepping in, even if he scared him a lot.

While everyone was fileing out of the lecture hall, John aprroached him

"Hey Equius, thanks for dealing with Cronos."

"It was nothing, but in the future, don't get Nepeta dragged into your problems."

The words roll off his tounge like thunder, yeash how can people have full on conversatons with this guy?

"Right I'll do my best. Thanks again."

John scurries off but he can feel Equius looking at him, you hate it when he would just stand there, and watch.

It was a long walk to John's next class, and he just tries to move through the crowd when he seems the back of a faimilar head.

"DAVE! Dave! Hey wait up!"

The notorious cool kid turns around and looks at the inbound Eggbert

"Calm your shits, Eggbert. What's happen?"

"Had a bit of a hectic day, I ended up getting saved from Cronos by Z-Thunder."

"God don't call him that."

"What it's a good nickname?!"

"If Equius found out you called him that you would be crushed to a paste. On accident."

"Don't remind me."

"So has the Prankster Pimp seen any action today?"

"No..."

"Don't get so down John man, some day you will be covered in bitches."

"Really?"

"Definatly."

"Who made you such an authority?"

"The lips of Terezi, both Peixes, Roxy, Damra, and Harley."

"I forgot how long the list has gotten. How do you go through so many?"

"Yeah, Terezi lasted a bit but things just got akward, Meenah was a bitch so that didn't last long, Feferi was too nice so I had to let her go she deserves a nice guy, Roxy just wasn't ready to commit to one guy so it ended fast, Damra just got wierd I thought it would be cool and ironic but... Anyway Jade is actualy doing pretty good I might actualy keep her a while."

"Yup green as grass Jade, you are slipping up Dave."

Dave pushed John into a wall and held him there

"Watch your mouth, she's a nice girl with class."

John snickered

"I thought you gave up nice girls for their own good?"

"Jade's diffrent, she has this effect on people, bad people don't change her she changes bad people."

"So you want Jade to make a better you out of you?"

Dave let John off the wall

"I guess, maybe. So any ladies catch your eyes?"

"Not really, just waiting for the right someone."

"John you can't wait for the right person to find you, the best gems are found deep below the ground, they don't fall out of the sky."

"Whatever, there's our class."


	2. A blooming rose

Chemistry was hard. Especialy for people who wore shades that were so tinted he could mix up liquid oxygen for uranium. If it weren't for Jade Harley Dave would have failed chemistry a long time ago.

Jade and Dave sat at their table going through the process of the experiment, when Dave decided to help a bro out.

"So Jade, John is in a bit of a tight spot right now and needs some help that I don't think I could give, do you think you could talk to him after school?"

"Yeah sure, hey can you start the budseon burner?"

"Ok, hey can I see your notebook?"

"Here, anyway so what does John need help with? Hand me that petrie dish."

"He is having some girl problems, wait the one with the sand or the water?"

"Sand, now I thought you were the 'girl expert' why does he need my help?"

"Here, hey don't put your hand so close to the flame! Thing is John is derpy pranky,and "funny" I am sleek, smooth, and ironic. We are playing with diffrent decks my tactics probably won't work near as good for him. Plus I can't understand his taste in girls... Hey is that supposed to be bubbling?"

"Yeah I think so... Ok I'll try to help him out."

"Wait no that's definatly not supposed to be bubbling..."

John sat at his table trying to follow what his partner was saying

"Fir2t you are 2uppo22ed to heat the sand then pour iit iinto the fiilm iimbeciile!"

"I'm trying yeeash. Don't have to be so harsh about it, why arn't you doing anything?"

"Becau2e you ungrateful whelp thii2 cla22 wa2 2hort a 2tudent 2o ii voluntered to help the odd 2tudent out. ii don't get a grade only college crediit."

"Well I don't need your help!"

"Ye2 you do."

"I was doing just fine till you started being an asshole."

"Oh yeah then tell me ii2 that 2uppou2ed to be bubbliing?"

"I think so..."

"iit ii2n't"

Oh yeah student bio:

Sollux Captor self-proclaimed smartest guy in school. Sollux is Mituna's twin brother, and the two have a bitter rivalry. Sollux claims he is smarter, Mituna also claims to be smarter. Odds are they have identical IQ's Sollux is among Karkat's cronies, he is the brain of their 'outfit' any way he is in the archery club, and is Karkat's partner on the Tennis team for doubles matches. He is a bit of an asshole in John's opinion. But is widely respected by the student body, he is tied with Dave and Dirk Strider for the title of "Coolest Guy in School."

By the end of class, Sollux had to intervene with John's failed attempts and do the experiment himself, while Jade and Dave just barely had enough time to get it right.

John met up with Jade and Dave after class and started heading towards the cafeteria Dave started

"So, anyone else think our teacher is a dick?"

John replied

"I don't think so but that experiment seemed really hard and pointless. It didn't help that Sollux was being a jerk."

Dave looked at John

"No Sollux is cool, you were just being a derpy kid."

"Hey!"

Jade stepped in

"So that aside, I met a new girl in my first period class today, can I invite her to sit with us?"

Dave replied "If it is ok with John."

"Sure why not."

"Ok sure."

While Jade went looking for her friend John and Dave found their seats and started eating.

"So John I convinced Jade to help you with your girl problem."

"Problem? What problem?! I don't have a problem!"

"Dude you want to get some action and you can't thats a problem. Ok anyway, I'm going to help you find a good girl for you and Jade will help you woo her."

"Ugh... Whatever. So how will you help me find a girl?"

"Well first you just need to look around for a girl to catch your eye ok?"

"Fine." John begains to scan the room looking for anyone who really got his attention.

"This is hopeless... Hey!"

"Find some one?"

"Yeah three rows to the left, standing up white hair, black tanktop, long purple skirt."

"No."

"Why not?"

"First she has horrible fashion. Secound she is a gothic horrorterror worshiper."

"I think she is pretty."

"She is a 6 at best."

"She is more than that!"

"No she isn't."

"Well Jade isn't much of a looker either is she?"

"No Jade is so cute she is sexy. She is off the charts adorable and good looking. Don't compare her to "Tentacle the rapist" besides she has a lot of personality to go with her cute face."

"Wait tentacle the rapist?"

"That horrorterror girl's chumhandle is "tentacletherapist" which has all the same letters in the same order as "tentacle the rapist" it is just the matter of a space."

"Ok what ever, do you know what she likes to do?"

"Rape your mind with phycological bullshit."

"Hey look Jade is coming!"

"So who is here friend... God no. Jade I told you not to drag in trash. Bad girl."

"Ugh Daaaaaaaaaaave she is nice!"

The girl looked at Dave

"You know what Jade I will see you another time."

John blurted out "Wait!"

The girl looked at him

"Why?"

"I'm sure you just gave Dave a bad first impression, stick around for a bit, it could be fun!"

Jade looked at the girl

"Please Rose!"

"Fine. If 'cool kid' here will let me."

"No, get lost goth."

Jade clung to Dave'sa rm

"Please let her sit with us Dave!"

"No."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!."

"No."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!"

"Still no."

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!"

"Fine! What ever. But is she tries to probe our minds she has to leave."

Jade let go of Dave's arm and hugged him and buried her face in his shirt,

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Rose looked at Dave "Thanks 'cool kid' you are soooooo kind."

"Shut up elderitch monk."

John looked at Rose, he wanted to say something cool and hard broiled, or funny and clever. Instead he said...

"Hi."

"Hello, what was your name again?"

"My name is John, John Eggbert!"

"I am Rose Lalonde, it is nice to meet you."


	3. A close encounter of the worst kind

This is my first author's note so far, I would like to say that I am sorry the story is a bit slow in fact it is really slow, considering that it is a love story and John and Rose have only just now been introduced to each other but I promise there will be a lot more stuff actualy happening in the future.

* * *

Rose Lalonde, ranked 6th smartest student in school. She wants to be a therapist when she grows up. It is in fact true she has a fasination for the zoololgisticly dubious but she is definatly not a horrorterror worshipper not a chance, no way, that is totatly not a thing that is true. As far as John is concerned she is incredible, she is smart, pretty, talented and nice. Dave thinks she is very disturbing, but no longer thinks she worships horrorterrors, he belives she is one.

Jade and Dave looked across the table at John and Rose who were talking, mostly John listening with Rose prattling on about the wonders of relayan dieties. "So Jade do you think there is any hope for them?" "I don't know Dave, I think anyone can like John, but I'm not sure if John will be able to keep up with Rose being all kinds of grim dark." "See I told you so." "Yeah but I didn't belive you." "Yeah well poor John is prankster head over goofball heels from what it looks like. I just hope she doesn't have any 'effects' on him." "I do to."

The narrator would explain the conversation between Rose and John but it is more like a grimdark monolog that no one should have to endure.

After lunch the four had to go to diffrent classes, they exchanged chumhandles with Rose and went their seperate ways.

Mean while an important side plot began to unfold:

Karkat walked away from John "What is up with that kid..." He walked down the hall before running into his friend Sollux "Hey Captor what's up?" "Not much just got done schooling that douchbag Cronos. I pity the fool who has to deal with him next." "I see so how are things with Aradia?" "They have been better." "What do you mean?" "She is just kind of fading on me, we used to have something good, somemthing real. But it just isn't the same." "Well what's changed?" "It kind of began when things started getting rough with Equius and Nepeta." "You think there is a connection?" Sollux took off his glasses and wiped them on his shirt "I dunno..." Karkat put his hand on his shoulder "I'm sure it's just a passing phase, everyone's relation ships are a bit rocky right now. Mid terms coming up people have less time for love." Sollux put his glasses back on "I guess, maybe I could do something special for her?" "It always helps to make sure she knows you still care."

Elsewhere!

Feferi and Aradia were texting each other during their class...

"So any luck?"

"Sorry Feferi, I'm having a lot of trouble letting him go."

"! Wait you still want to be with him? Don't break up just for me!"

"No thats not what I meant, it's just he is really sweet and he is a great guy. I get why you like him so much, it's just ugh..."

"Then stay with him, if I can't have him then I can't have him. Do what makes you happy."

"No no no, thats still not it. I just don't think he deserves a relationship with me."

"Wait you think you're to good for him, now I'm really confused? Glub?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm not deserving of him! He needs someone who can love him with out distraction."

"Meaning?"

"Ok, I've been holding out on this... But recently I have just been really finding myself attracted toI'm Equius. I like Sollux more, but if there is some one like Equius out there who can distract me from him that much I don't think I can provide a happy relationship with him!"

"I think I get it better now."

"So I'm just trying to let him off easy, make it a clean breakout so he can find someone better. I hope for your sake you can be that someone."

"Thanks Aradia, I really think you should just give him another chance. Give him some time, I'm sure the thing with Equius is a passing thing, try to relight what you had!"

"But what about you?"

"There are pleanty of other fish in the sea. If Sollux makes you happy and you make Sollux happy then you will be fine."

"I'll try, but I'm just not comfortable being in a relation ship when so many others can turn my head. I don't want to get tempted into a bad situation and then end up hurting Sollux."

"I'm sure you will be fine. You are strong and smart."

"Thanks."

Mean while!

"What if they find out?"

"It'll be ok, we got each other and thats a lot for love."

"We'll give it a shot!"

"Yeah thats what I'm talking about."

Later and somewhere else!

"So Jade, how are things with Dave?"

"I dunno Terezi I don't think I'm good enough for him sometimes."

"Don't be ridiculous he really likes you and you make him happy."

"I just, I don't know It is so hard to tell some times. He never really lets on what he is feeling."

"Well you just need to sit down with him and have a proper full on feelings jam with him. Get him to loosen up and get past the tough guy."

"How he is just too cool!"

"I know better than anyone how cool that coolkid is. You just need to blast him full of your puppy eyes and drag his name out a lot, that works better than you think."

"Really?"

"Really."

Meanwhile yet somehow later!

After a long and boring day Jade, Rose, John and Dave met up after school. Dave saw Rose "Ok if you want to keep hanging with us you have to fix your wardrobe problems, ASAP." "What problem, coolkid?" "God you are wearing a black tanktop and a long purple skirt. It is horrible!" Jade butted in "It's not horrible Rose, but could probably use some work." Rose looked at John "Well what do you think John?" "I think you look great just the way you are." Rose patted his head, before crossing her arms "See it's fine." If Dave was not a cool kid like he is he would have given the two of them a hell of a look, however being an incredibly cool kid, he just looked at them "First John, you no longer have a say in this." "Hey!" "Secound Rose it isn't fine just because John said so." Jade perked up "Oooh how about we all come to my place and get Rose a wardrobe upgrade?" Rose sighed "Fine if it really is such a problem. Dave shrugged "Fine by me." John nodded in agreement. They all took a minute to call their respective guardians to inform them of the plan. Dave at that moment remembered something of crucial importance, "Wait Jade can we bring the Mayor?" "Sure you can bring the Mayor! The more the merrier!" John and Dave high fived, "We are bring the Mayor!" Dave started running back to the school "I'll go get him, wait up!"

Weston Vagabond, A.K.A "The Mayor" The Mayor is awsome. The Mayor is everyone's best friend. Weston is only 4 and a half feet tall, not to mention incredibly adorable and easy to be friends with. Everyone loves The Mayor. The Mayor's friendship is a universal friendship that under so circumstances could ever be lost. I like the Mayor, he's my favorite.

As they waited for Dave, the three were faced with a risky confrontation. The full brunt of Karkat's social armada stood before them, Karkat, Aradia, Sollux, Nepeta, Terezi, Equius and Gamzee. John took a step back,

Aradia Medigo star runner of the trackteam, archery club, fencing club, and gymnist. John doesn't really much more about her than that.

Terezi Pyrope, Karkats 'close friend' anyway, gymnist, fencing club, debate team, and drama club. Terezi is a bit sexist she treats girls way better than boys, John isn't sure why but she is just like that. John sometimes wishes she was blind because the way she looked at people was a bit unsettling. Anyway John tries to avoid her.

Gamzee (Motherfucking) Makara, Gamzee is a motherfucking miracle. He is friends with Karkat yet is probably one of the least popular kids in school and is on no sports team. He was however voted "Most likely to go phyco and try to kill everyone." yeah no one is sure why he just seems like he could. Wait no he is in the boxing club but is on permenant leave, Nepeta punched him the face too hard, he got knocked out, he was sent home immediatly and later sent to the hospital. He physicaly recovered but is now scared of Nepeta and any one who might be near as good at boxing if not better than Nepeta *cough* Equius *cough* so even if he was the most likely to try to kill everyone he is very unlikely to succed.

Karlat approached John "Sup Egbert." "What do you want?" "What do I want? I want to know why you are showering me with hate." "What are you talking about?" "Everytime I talk to you it's just 'Hey John' 'What do you want?' I've never been able to talk to you, you are just giving me friction for no reason!" "Why do you care?!" "Because if I offended you I want to know whats up!" Rose stepped between them "Obviously nothing is 'up' John just doesn't want to talk to you." "If it really isn't that big of a problem then way is coolkid Strider spreading propaganda about how 'awful' we are?" Jade piped up "Dave wouldn't do that!" Karkat put his hand to his brow and pushed his hair back "Harley please, I get that. This isn't Dave's fault, Dave is cool. But it would be totatly understandable if Dave's best bro was telling how we are such jerks to him..." Jade's face was turning red "So you mean to tell me that you think John is whining to Dave and then Dave is spreading rumors about you?" "Yes! I would appreciate it if he would stop." "I'm not done VANTAS! You can't just come over here and pick on John with your big gang and try to act like the good guy!" "Harley..." "STOP CALLING ME THAT! Only my boyfriend can call me Harley, and incase you forgot... THATS NOT YOU ANYMORE!"

Karkat turned around "Someone else deal with this, if I have to say anything more I'll end up saying something really stupid." Karkat walked a short distance a way as Terezi and Sollux stepped up. Sollux started "Ok that just happened... Ok point is John you are creating problems where problems don't need to be. Just let it go, I don't know if Karkat offended you at some point, or if your just jealous, or if you can't stand how he is the only senior who can look good wearing shorts just let it go." Terezi added "We all have better things to do then be here so just get coolkid to stop spreading his propaganda and everything will be fine." John tried to say something but nothing would come. The group turned to leave, they passed by Dave who was walking back carrying the mayor on his shoulders, the Mayor high-fived Karkat as they pasted and then they turned the corner and where gone. Dave and the Mayor came up "Ok we ready to go?"

* * *

I hope this chapter was a bit more eventful for those who don't like slow stories and that this will be a starting point for some good stuff to happen.


	4. Discord

John, Rose, the Mayor, Jade and Dave arrived at Jade's mansion. They walked up the front lawn to the front door, when Jade opened the door Becquerel stood in the doorway "Hello welcome home Jade human, John human who Jade human thinks is really funny, Dave human who Jade thinks is really dreamy, the Mayor human who the ade human thinks is really adorable and..." While Jade human was busy blushing like a tomatoe and everyone else was just staring at the omnipotent dog, Bec walked over and started sniffing Rose "Oh you must be the Rose human! I've never met you before it is nice meeting new people! You better be nice to Jade human or I'll eat your face." Jade finally found her voice "Bec sit!" "Yes Jade human" the dog sat down "Why am I sitting Master Jade human?" "You are embrassing me!" "But I'm not saying anything! Is there something wrong with sniffing the Rose human?" "Wait is your translator on 'thought' again?" "Is it?" "I don't know!" Jade looked at the dog's collar, "Jade human remind me why my translator can translate my thoughts into human words if you don't want it to?" "Because it sounded like a good idea at the time!" "Ok." Jade hit a button on the collar "There now it only says things you are actuactly trying to say and not just everything that crossed your mind." "Thank you Jade human."

Everyone walked in past Bec, still mostly baffled by what happened "Sorry I should have warned you about Bec." Dave finally recovered "Sooo the Jade human thinks the Dave human is dreamy huh?" Jade blushed "I wouldn't put it like that but..." Dave walked over and hugged her "Good that means you arn't stupid, good Jade, best girlfriend." Jade and John just stood their ackwardly as Jade hugged him back. A few feet away the Mayor and Bec were having a pleasant conversation about the continuity of the universe and the finer more sophisticated things in life.

Meanwhile somewhere else entirely...

Sweet beats and hella jams filled the air

"I'm not a fan of puppeters, but I've got a nagging fear that someone else is pulling at the strings! Something terrible is going down through the entire town wreaking anarchy and all it brings!"

"I can't sit idly no I can't move at all! I curse the name the one behind it alllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllll!"

Then a sour note pierces the air,

"Dammit what the hell Nepeta. You've only had two lines so far, if you can't play and sing we will leave all the vocals to Karkat." Nepeta looked at Sollux with wide eyes "I'm trying!" Karkat groaned and leaned agaisnt the wall proping his bass in the corner of the room "It's fine Sollux it's why we practice." Sollux groaned "What ever, I need a break. Terezi can I go get a coke?" Terezi got up from her stool and walked away from her keyboard "Yeah I'll come with you incase my mom decides to try and 'make friends' with you." Sollux nodded abandoning his turn tables "Yeah good idea, remember the time she tried to show how 'hip' she was by rapping all the time?" Terezi rolled her eyes "Don't remind me." Aradia stood up from her recording station "I'll go too I'm really thirtsy." Sollux grinned at her "Cool lets go." Aradia half heartedly returned the smile and Sollux's shoulders slumped. As they walked to the door exiting the garage "Anyone else want anything." Karkat waved her off "No, I'm good." Nepeta plopped down on a bean bag "Can I get a bottle of water?" Terezi frowned at her "I'll get you a cup of water if it's all the same." Nepeta shrugged "Ok." Terezi looked at their drummer "Equius need anything?" "Can you get me a towel, it's rather hot in here?" Karkat shuddered "Don't tell me you are going to start sweating again." "My apologizes, I have little control of the matter." Karkat let out another groan, "Terezi just get the man some towels, and some deoderant if you have any." Terezi opened the door "Ok I'll see what I can do."

Once they left, Equius and Nepeta started talking about the wierd things that they talked about like horses and cats. Karkat started having trouble ignoreing them after a while and went to step outside. He stood on the door step for a few minutes, feeling the nice March breeze run through his hair "Heh it's almost warm enough to wear shorts." After a few minutes of just taking in the outdoors he figured that Terezi and co. would be back so he turned to head inside whe, "Well look who we have here. Trying to advanced past the 'close friends' rung with Terezi or are you still trying to become a band?" Karkat turned around, if it weren't for the number of good things that Karkat had going for him he would have sworn then and there that whatever diety controlled the flow of reality hated him. "I don't want to deal with it Vriska." Vriska laughed "You know you always want to deal with ME." "No actualy I don't" Vriska tossed her raven hair back "Hah right. Listen I'm not even here for you, I want to catch up with my good friend, Terezi." Karkat rolled his eyes "Yup good friends. I'll tell her you are out here." He went inside and found Terezi walking back with Sollux and Aradia "Hey Terezi there is someone out there looking for you, you might want to bring some bug spray." Terezi groaned, "Here Take Equius and Nepeta's stuff, I'll go deal with this." Karkat took the glass of water and towel and headed back to the garage with Sollux and Aradia.

Outside...

Terezi...

MEANWHILE!

Rose looked at herself in the mirror, "I don't know Jade, it doesn't really look like I'm me anymore." Jade laughed, Rose was now wearing a white tea shirt and a purple mini-skirt "I think you look fine, great even." "What ever gets Strider off my case." Jade laughed "I bet he might even ever so slightly nodd his head when he sees you." "Why to 'let me know that there might just be hope for me yet?" "Yup!" Rose twirled the skirt some "It just seems almost indecent it's so short." Jade looked her up and down "It's pleanty decent. I'm also sure it will attract any guy who might have snagged your fancy." Rose bit the inside of her lip "Do I really want some guy's attention just because I'm wearing a really short skirt?" "It's not that, but your normal cloathes really just hold you back, now that you don't have all that dark cloathes people can better see the good in you!" Rose sighed "Ok, lets see how Dave anf John react."

"O go!" It was on, the arm wrestling match of the hour. John pushed with all his strenght but he just couldn't make any progress Dave was holding tight and putting up alot of resistance. "Come on Egbert you've got more in you than that!" "I'm trying!" John strained and gave his best effort but Dave just laughed "This is sad John, I can't even tell you are trying, push harder!" John gritted his teeth "Come on, come on!" Just as he felt he had him, everything turned around, John's hand slammed into the table Dave's on top "Yeeash, John you arm wrestle like a girl." John pulled his hand back cradleing it in his other hand "You didn't have to hold my hand so tight, that hurt!" "Shouldn't matter, I couldn't let you win if I wanted." John groaned "How can you be so strong? That requires working out, which requires effort! I thought you never put forth any effort!" Dave smirked "Except when it comes to impressing the ladies." At that moment Jade came through the door "I hope you two are ready to be amazed, cause here she is, the new and improved, Rose Lalonde!"

Rose stepped through the door, and let out a weak "Tada?" Dave looked her over, "Eh it's an improvement." John was grinning ear to ear "Wow Rose you look great!" Rose thought for a secound she was going to blush, but fought it back, no one had ever just straight up complimented her for her looks, and hearing John say it with that goofy grin, was a real first experiance for her. "Thanks John. Is it really that much better?" Dave slightly inclined his head in the absolute slightest to indicate that their was some hope for her yet. John actualy spoke "Yeah! You looked really pretty before, but you're dark color scheme was really offsetting. But the white shirt really helps you stand out and adds that much more to your radiance while the shorter skirt makes you seem less confined and more free and beutiful!" Rose was certain she had blushed that time, that was the nicest thing any one had ever said to her, her Mom excluded, and she would have never expected it coming from John Egbert of all people. She was shaken out of the moment when Dave hit John over the head "John, that the cheesiest thing ever said by any one man in the history of reality." John whined "I'm just complimenting her Dave whats the big deal?" "I just explained the big deal, that was a really lame thing to say."

Jade crossed her arms "So do I get a 'good job Jade' for my hard work?" Dave stood up and walked over to her "Yes you do." Dave hugged her and kissed her forehead "You did good Harley now she looks less goth." Jade pouted "Stop treating me like a little kid Dave!" "Not until you stop being so adorable when you pout." "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaav e!" ""See thats what I'm talking about. If treating you like a little kid makes you do that more often I will keep doing it." "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!" "You arn't helping your case." Jade frowned "I won't do it anymore untill you start treating me like your girlfriend and not your little sister." "Don't be like that Harley." "I will be how I want to be." Dave sighed and kissed Jade on the lips "Better?" "Very." John pretended to gag "Get a room you two." Dave looked over his shoulder "Grow up John." "No!"

Meanwhile!

"To overcome your lonelyness you must first accept it, and over come it." "What the fuck Gam that is the stupidest advice ever." "Calm down, you must remain clam and collected and ready to accept any social oppertunities." "What the fuck this is stupid I don't need your help to make friends." "You obviously need a hug Eridan." "Whath the fuck, again!" "Give me a hug Eridan it will make everything feel like motherfucking miracles." "What the fuck, to the fourth power I'm out here."

Meanwhile!

Actualy nothing else is happening right now.

* * *

I'm sorry for anyone who didn't like the part with Gamzee and Eridan, I think I might be high on non-alcholic beverages. I just thought of it and it seemed hilarious at the time. It still seems pretty funny. For anyone curious I have no idea how many A's were in that thing where Jade was holding out Dave's name.


	5. Back in Buisness

Dave leaned back on the hand rail of Jade's second story balcony "Sooooo Jade, what can we do around here?" Jade put a finger to her chin "Ummm, well we can water my plants!" "No." "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Ok how about we play a game!" John perked up "What kind of game?" "How about pictonary!" Dave walked over to Jade and flicked her on the nose "No." John pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket "How about we play a card game!" "See finally a good idea! What game do you have in mind?" John seemed to think for a minute and threw the cards into the air "52 pick up!" Dave walked over and put his hand on John's shoulder "John you have hearby failed as a human." He looked at his three friends "Here is what we are going to do, we are going to raid Harley's overly expensive fridge and watch a movie." Jade and John nodded in agreement. Rose sighed and started walking down the stairs.

Jade ran down the stairs passing Rose "Dave come help me 'raid' my fridge!" "Coming J, John find a movie that doesn't suck!" Dave ran to catch up with Jade as they went to kitchen. John caught up with Rose as they entered the T.V. room "So Rose what kind of movies do you like?" "I like documentaries on the human mind." "Do you like any movies that Dave and Jade might like?" "I don't suppose so." John look around through some cabinents by the T.V. and found a large collection of movies, "Come on Rose she had pretty much every movie under the sun surely we can find something." Rose looked over John's shoulder "Fine lets see what we can find." They browsed the movie selection for several minutes exchanging a seris of "How about..." "No" "Why don't we try.." "No" eventualy Rose said "Wait John I think I see a good option." "Me too." They both try to grab the same disk, John got it first and Rose accidently grabbed his hand as she reached for it. They both looked at their hands for a secound "Uh Rose?" she pulled her hand back "Sorry I was just trying to grab the movie." John smiled "Oh ok. So you want to try this one then?" Rose took the dvd case and looked at the back after a moment she gave it back to John "Yes it will do." John set the dvd down by the T.V. "Ok I'll go find Dave and Jade." Then he walked off. Rose looked back at the case "Back to the future strange but eye catching title."

John walked into the kitchen and found Dave balancing two trays of snacks and Jade carrying two liters of soda. John took one tray "We found a movie!" They walked back to the T.V. room Jade asked John "What did you pick?" "Back to the future!" Dave nodded "Cool time travel movie, I'll go find the Mayor." They set down the snacks on a cofee table infront of the couch. John and Rose sat down while Jade put the dvd in the overly complicated and high tech movie player. Dave went back into the main hall to get the Mayor. The Mayor was talking to Becqurel, Dave called over "Yo Mayor, movies starting." The mayor grinned and ran to the T.V. room, as Dave turned to follow Bec said "If you ever do something to hurt the Jade human, I'm going to eat your face." Dave looked at him "I'm sorry what?" "If the Dave human breaks the Jade human's heart, I'll rips yours out." "Wait are you going to eat my face or tear out my heart?" "Both." Dave did the closest thing a coolkid could muster to a shudder as he walked away. He sat down of the couch with the others "Jade your dog is crazy." she hugged his arm "I know."

Mean while!

"Come on Terezi, one more job?" Terezi looked at Vriska "No Vriska what you have in mind is wrong." Tavros spoke up from behind Vriska "Please Terezi, it would be a lot easier if you just went a long with it." Terezi was disgusted "Tavros you are pathetic, why do you let her do these things?" Tavros stuttered "bECAUSE... iT'S uhh jUST eASIER tHIS wAY." Vriska stepped forward "Come on Terezi you know you want to! Come on Scourge Sisters, plus Tavros. Back together for one more go? One more brilliant scheme!" Terezi turned around and walked inside she looked back over her shoulder "Not a chance in the world." She rentered the garage, Karkat called to her "So what did the spiderbitch want?" "To be a spiderbitch. Can we not talk about it?" "Sure. Anytime we can spend not talking about Vriska is a good time to me. All in favor say I." a chorus of "I" filled the room.

After a half hour or so, Karkat set down his bass "Ok I'm done. Any one else?" Sollux raisd his hand "Yeah I'm pretty tired of this right now." Equius nodded "Agreed, I've already used up this towel and wouldn't want to filthy any more of Terezi's towels." Terezi grimaced "Jee thanks." Aradia turned off her recording equipment "Ok then." Sollux walked over to her "So Aradia want to grab some pizza?" "Oh sorry Sollux, I can't also I think Feferi was looking for you." "Oh ok AA. I'll see you later?" "Yeah." They had an akward hug and both left. Nepeta packed up her guitar "Alright then well I wanted to hit the gym for a bit before heading home, anyone want to come?" Equius nodded "I'll have to pick up some towels from home but I'll meet you up there." "Awww but your my ride! How am I going to get there?" Karkat stepped in "I can drive and have my gear with my anyway. I'll take you up, I could probably use some time on the tread mill." Terezi came close behind him "Going to be working up a sweat huh Karkat?" "Yeah I guess. It's a little wierd when you put it like that. But yeah." "Then I think I'll come too. Is that ok Karkles?" "Yeah whatever. I'll be in my car." He headed out with Nepeta at his heels. Trezei left the room to get her stuff and Equius was the last to leave.

They got to the drive way just in time to see Aradia and Sollux driving their seperate ways. Equius got in his truck and drove away, while Karkat and Nepeta got into his car. After a minute Terezi walked out of the house and got in the car, "You guys are ready to go?" Karkat started the car "Yup." They pulled out the drive way and started down the road.


End file.
